My #OneFrameStories in strictly 99 words!

वाद एवं विवाद

कॉलेज की वार्षिक वाद विवाद प्रतियोगिता का विषय था, "क्या आरक्षण न्यायोचित है?" 

आयोजकों ने ड्रॉ निकाल कर यह तय किया कि कौन पक्ष में बोलेगा और कौन विपक्ष में। मुझे पक्ष में बोलने  को कहा गया। प्रवेश परीक्षाओं में इसी आरक्षण व्यवस्था के चलते कुछ अच्छे अवसरों से हाथ धो बैठने के कारण मुझे आरक्षण में  विशेष श्रद्धा तो नहीं थी परन्तु मेरे पास कोई चारा भी नहीं था। 

चूँकि इस प्रतियोगिता का विजेता आगे होने वाली राज्य स्तरीय युवा महोत्सव में कॉलेज का प्रतिनिधित्व करता था, इसका महत्व कुछ ज्यादा ही होता था। मुझे यहाँ आए अभी तीन महीने ही हुए थे इसलिए अभी भी "फ्रेशर" कह कर संबोधित किया जाता था। कॉलेज के वार्षिकोत्सव में सीनिअर्स का काफी रॉब रहता था और फ्रेशर्स को सर झुका कर उनके साथ अदब से पेश आना होता था. रैगिंग समाप्त हुए कुछ ही समय हुआ था और उनका दबदबा अभी भी कायम था। 

एक फ्रेशर का इस प्रतियोगिता का प्रतिभागी होना मात्र ही चर्चा का विषय था। और उस प्रतिभागी का कन्या होना, विशेष चर्चा का विषय बन गया। इसी कौतूहल मिश्रित जोश ने शायद संपूर्ण कॉलेज को ही औडीटोरिअम में ला बिठाया था। प्रेक्षागृह में पाँव रखते ही इसका आभास मुझे हो गया। किसी के लिए भी वातावरण तनिक भयभीत करने वाला ही था। कॉलेज के नामी गिरामी सभी व्यक्ति की वहाँ उपस्थिति को देख कर, प्रतियोगिता की महत्ता का ज्ञान हुआ। थोड़ी ही देर में प्रतियोगिता प्रारम्भ हो गयी। कुछ अनुभवी और वाद विवाद में परिपक्व छात्रों ने आ कर अपने उदगार व्यक्त किये।  मैंने सूची देखी तो पता चला की मेरा मौक़ा सबसे आख़ीर में आएगा।  लेकिन इससे भी अजीब बात जो पता चली वह ये की  प्रतियोगिता में मैं एकमात्र छात्रा थी, शेष सभी छात्र थे - पुरुष प्रधानता यहाँ भी!

मैं ध्यान से विपक्ष के सभी मत सुन रही थी और मन ही मन उन्हें कंठस्थ करने का प्रयास कर रही थी ताकि अपनी बारी आने पर उनके सही उत्तर दे सकूँ।  क़रीब १४ लोगों के बाद मेरे नाम की घोषणा हुई।  मैंने मंच पर पाँव रखा ही था की ऑडिटोरियम में मानो भूचाल आ गया हो।  इतना शोर मैंने मेरे जीवन में पहली बार सुना था। एक फ्रेशर हो कर  उस प्रतियोगिता में हिस्सा लेना, जिसमें सीनियर्स का वर्चस्व स्थापित था, उनकी दृष्टी में बहुत बड़ा जुर्म था।  दंड स्वरुप वहां बैठा हर "सीनियर " अपनी पूर्ण शक्ति से मेरे इस दुस्साहस की भर्त्सना कर रहा था -चीख पुकार कर। 

अजीब बात है लेकिन। मंच पर पहुँच कर, दो हज़ार लोगों से खचा-खच भरे हॉल में, मेरा आत्मविश्वास शिखर पर  था। हमेशा पाश्चात्य सभ्यता से प्रेरित परिधान धारण करती आई थी परन्तु इस मौक़े के लिए ख़ास तौर से एक श्वेत चूड़ीदार- कुर्ता खरीदा था। पूरा प्रयास था की एक "नो नॉनसेंस" छवि प्रस्तुत करते हुए, अत्यंत सादगी के साथ अपने विचारों को व्यक्त कर जाऊँ। 

थोड़ी देर में जी भर कर चीख चिल्ला लेने के बाद जब श्रोतागण अपने फेफड़ों को विश्राम देने की स्थिति में जाते दिखे तो मैंने अपना वक्तव्य प्रारम्भ किया।  मात्र दो तीन वाक्य ही बोले होंगे की हॉल में सुई-पटक-सन्नाटा छा गया। मानो उन्हें साँप सूँघ गया हो। और जल्द ही  उद्दंड सीनियर्स की वह टोली मानो मेरी मुट्ठी में थी। मेरे कहे हर शब्द को बड़े ध्यान से सुना जा रहा था। ऐसा लगता था की अधिकाँश लोग यह भूल गए थे की उनके समक्ष एक फ्रेशर खड़ी थी।  अधिकाँश लोग, किन्तु सभी नहीं। 

इसका आभास मुझे तब हुआ जब मैंने बड़े ही नाटकीय अंदाज़ में कहा, " बैसाखियों के सहारे, किसी अपंग  व्यक्ति को जीवन की आपाधापी में संघर्ष करते हुए देख कर, आपके  ह्रदय में यह  इच्छा  नहीं होती की आप किसी प्रकार उसकी मदद कर सकें...."

सबके चेहरे पर एक द्रवित सा भाव था कि तभी  अचानक, देर से पसरे हुए सन्नाटे को चीरते हुए , पीछे से एक ज़ोर की आवाज़ आई, "नहींहींहींहींहींहींहीं~~ !"

इस एक "नहीं" से मानो सबकी तन्द्रा भंग हो गयी। एक अफ़रा तफ़री सी मच गयी।  फर्स्ट इयर के जो गिने चुने लोग अब तक एक विजयी मुस्कान के साथ बैठे थे वह इस अप्रत्याशित घटनाक्रम से अत्यंत विचलित हो गए।  अगले कुछ सेकण्ड में ही मानो पुनः पासा पलटने लगा हो। "अब क्या होगा" की उत्सुकता में जनता पुनः अशांत और अधीर हो गयी। 

मुझे स्थिति बड़ी हास्यास्पद सी लगी। कुछ भी अटपटा नहीं लगा।  मैंने बड़े ही शांत भाव से उस कोने में  बैठे सीनियर को देखा जिसने "नहीं" कहा था।   क्षोभ और निराशा के सबसे सजीव  भाव स्वयं ही मेरे चेहरे पर आ गए और मेरी स्वाभाविक प्रतिक्रिया के तौर पर मैंने भावुकता से ओतप्रोत आवाज़ में कहा, "यदि नहीं, तो यह निश्चय ही शोक का विषय है!"

किसी को उम्मीद नहीं थी की मैं इस अवांछित विध्न का प्रत्युत्तर प्रस्तुत करने का प्रयास करूंगी। तालियों की गड़गड़ाहट से ऑडिटोरियम गूँज उठा।  इस छोटे से घटनाक्रम ने मुझे उसी पल "स्टार" बना दिया।  

बताने की आवश्यकता नहीं है की प्रथम पुरस्कार उस शाम "फ्रेशर" को मिल गया। 

किन्तु यह बताना आवश्यक है कि ये अंत नहीं वरन शुरुआत थी, एक सीनियर और एक फ्रेशर के मध्य होने वाले, वाद एवं विवाद की!

                                                                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                                

Not Many Guys Understand This...

When my brother was professionally well settled in life, and was being touted as the most eligible bachelor around, in our social circles, he received an unexpected mail from my father. I am sure it was not written by him, nor do I have the details of its origin, but one thing I know for sure that it was a very timely piece of advice to a son, from a thoughtful father.

My brother was pleasantly surprised! He forwarded the mail to me and as I read it I had tears in my eyes. I have saved it since. Reproducing it for the benefit of all you guys, and the girls, out there. I am sure it will go a long way in ensuring marital bliss for many. In today's time when both girls and boys are brought up the same way, with equal importance to their all round development, it surely makes sense to remind the "son" one more time. Here are some excerpts:

"Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her keeping in mind these facts as well:

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are, who is earning almost as much as you do.

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have, because she is as human as  you are.

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sisters haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do, for 20-25 years of her life.

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home and people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name.

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep, oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment, and that kitchen.

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, or maybe more.

One who is never ever expected to complain to be a servant, a cook, a mother, or a wife, even if she doesn't want to; 

One who is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than  you.

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities.

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise.

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met; 

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life, a grand success, if you just help her and trust her.

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it. 

But not many guys understand this. 
             
I hope you will."

I hope this small note will affect a few minds at least. That should surely suffice for now because it's said that a small group of thoughtful people could change the world. 

As you were reading this post, you might have correlated it with the situation of your mother/sister/cousin/wife/friend/someone you know, and wished that somehow things could change for them.

Mahatma Gandhi shared a very wise trick for fulfilling that wish of yours - "Be the change that you wish to see in the world."

 

SitaroN se aage jahaaN aur bhi haiN!

Uss din shayad tumne mujhe pehli baar twitter pe dekha tha. Dekh kar chup chaap nahin baith gaye the tum. BaDii qaamayaab sii koshish kii thi tumne, apne hone ka ehsaas mujhe karwaane kii.  

Maine kuch post kiya tha - kisi nazm ka koi khoobsurat sa she’r raha hoga. Aur tumne uspe ek chhota sa sitaaraa Taank diya tha, favourite per click kar ke. Main nayi nayi thi. Zyada samajh nahin thi yahan ke chaal dhaal ki. Kuchh chaunk kar maine oopar dekha tha, ke ye kaun hai jisne chupke se meri post ke maathe par ye jhilmil karti sitaare waali  bindiya chipka di thi.

Tum jaate jaate ruk gaye the aur ek pal ke liye tumne piichhe muD kar dekha tha. Ussi waqt maine nazrein uthaayeen theen. Tum halke se muskuraaye the. Wo muskuraahaT maine tumhari nazron mein dekhi thi. Kuch toh tha uun aankhon mein. Aaj tak samajh nahin paayi, kya! Jaane tumne kya dekha tha lekin wo lamha waheen khatm nahin hua. Ek silsila bann gaya. Ek ajeeb sa sukoon dene waala silsila, kuchh ajeeb – o – Gareeb sa silsila!

Tum jab bhi aate ek sitaara taank dete the, meri kisi bhi post par. Wo tumhari dastak hoti thi, ke tum aa gaye ho. Jawaab mein main tumhari kisi khoobsurat nazm ke neeche “favourite” click kar deti thi. Taar juD jaate the. Baatein shuru ho jaati theen. Baatein, jahan lafzon ka istemaal nahin hota tha. Bass hamein uss undercurrent ko mehsoos karne ki deri bhar hoti thi, aur nazmein khud-ba-khud padhii jaane lagti theen, afsaane bante chale jaate the.  Wo jo kuch maine kabhi kaha hi nahin, wo sab kuch jaane kaise tum sun lete the. Wo jo tumhaare dil-o-dimaag mein ghoom raha hota tha, wo jaane kaise main ek khuli kitaab ki tarah padh leti thi.

Kitni hairaani ki baat thi na. Aise hi sitaare Taankte Taankte, humne ek chaadar hi bun daali thi, sitaaron ki. Rupahle, sunahre, khoobsurat sitaare! Jab ummeed ka suuraj parvaan chadha, uski roshni mein hamari ye chaadar jhilmila uthii thi! 

Khair suuraj doob gaya, sitaaron ki chamak pheeki pad gayii. Aur phir wo ek ek kar ke toot gaye. Bikhar gaye. Rah gayii toh bass wo sooni si, ujaad, yaadon ki chaadar. 

Ek din dil pe patthar rakh kar usse main dariya mein baha aayi.  Uske saath wo saare ehsaas bhi, jo tumne kabhi mujhe mehsoos karaaye the.

Maine ye tumhari sikhaayi hui sitaaron ki zubaan phir kabhi nahin istemaal ki. Maine kabhi muD kar uun sitaaron ka sog nahin manaaya, jo toot gaye, bikhar gaye. 

Kitna waqt guzar gaya. Suraj roz nikalta raha. Ab roshni mein sirf ek chaadar nahin,  saara jahan chamak uthata hai. Ajeeb si baat hai, uski roshni mein koi tapish nahin hoti hai. Ek garmaahat hoti hai, waisi hi, jo apno ke beech rehne pe mehsoos hoti hai.

Aaj ek anhoni ho gayi. Bemausam ke kale baadal subah subah hi aa kar saara aasmaan gher liye. Bhari dupahri mein raat ka ehsaas hone lagaa. Aur achanak, jaane kahan se aa kar, tum ek sitaara taank gaye!

Maine aankhon ko ragad kar dekha. Haan ye tum hi the. Iss ek sitaare se, yaadon ke dhool bhare galiyaare ke kiwaad pe dastak de gaye tum. Lekin uun darwaazon ko band kar ke kaafi aage nikal aayi hoon ab main. 

Ek halki si muskaan ne aa kar chehre pe Deraa daal liya hai. Aur Iqbal ki nazm achaanak ekdum ruuhani lag rahi hai. Tab se gunguna rahi hoon,

"Gaye din ke tanha thi main anjuman mein…..yahan ab mere raazdaan aur bhi hain….Sitaron se aage jahan aur bhi hain!"

Listen to the audio version of this post: https://soundcloud.com/fursatnaama/sitaron-se-aage-jahaan-aur-bhi 

The Fear of the C-Word.....

I was standing just outside the medical center. A strange feeling crept into my being, suddenly. I tried to identify it. Oh! The fear factor? Probably. But how could I be afraid of “nothing” – probably nothing – hopefully nothing. 

Before it could engulf me totally I tried to shrug it off. A deep breath often does wonders – that's what the oft-read guidelines said. I took a deep breath, pushed my shoulders back and stood tall; added some sparkles to my eyes and climbed the stairs with a beaming face. The doorman politely held the glass door ajar for me and i gave him the brightest morning smile with a polite, “thanks” accompanying it. 

Guess he was not used to such a response from the “mostly patients” types who normally walked in through that door. He was about to reiterate back into his “statue” mode when my supposedly contagious smile made him give me a quick glance – and this time he was smiling too! 

I stood in the queue at the registration counter, waiting for my turn. To my left there were around 40 people seated on neatly arranged sofas, in probably equally anxious state of mind. I would have loved to guess what they were thinking when the receptionist’s “yes ma'm?” interrupted my own thoughts. I paused for a brief second and whispered, “mammogram.” 

“A what ma’m?”

Aah did I whisper it a little too soft for those alert ears? By now I had gotten rid of the “oh-not-so me” slouch and was standing tall.

"A mammogram please.” I heard myself say with that resplendent smile back on my face. 

“Oh, how old are you?" Before I could answer that, there was a rejoinder from her. “Who is the doctor who has recommended that?"

I smiled, “No one.”

The queue existed behind me and she was aware of it. So the hurried pressing of the keys leading to the routine gurgling of the printer, ushered me into the waiting area, with the slip in my hand. I looked around. The 40-something crowd was as it would be, at any diagnostic center. A couple with a 4 year old with the worried expression of “anxious” alert parents of today, was seated next to me. A young couple, excitement brimming out of their faces was probably on the verge of starting their family. I love reading – be it books or people’s mind, but only those who are strangers to me. I was beginning to make myself comfortable doing what I love when I heard someone call out my name.

“Anjali!”  

I looked at the girl in white apron. She looked doubtfully at me, 

“A mammogram??” 

“Oh yes.” 

I followed her to the room at the end of the corridor. That feeling popped up again – only this time it was a bit familiar – i had felt it when i had arrived at the center. No, but why should I be afraid, huh! 

I was being asked to fill out a form. The initial questions were the usual Name, Age, Details thing. 

The next question asks any family history of breast cancer? I think of my mom and my sister and can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Nah, now is not the time. 

“The power of positive thinking” advises you against such thoughts. I quickly write NO and move to the next question. 

As I hand over the paper back to the technician, she directs me to the machine. While the first slide is being taken I wonder if the Police must be using this as “3rd degree,” to get the truth out of criminals! I cringe in pain. I am shocked by the brutality of the whole process. And when she releases the plates I ask her, 

“Aah is it over?” 

“No, three sets more of that!” said with so much ease, like I am being told about the joy rides I can avail of, in the package I have purchased at Essel World! 

She adjusts the plates at a new angle. My collar bone is about to crackle between the metal plates as she further brings them closer. I tell myself, it’s OK. I think of the small marble temple at home and of the deity within it. I resign. 

I am told it’s over. I smile weakly at her and say, “That was painful!!” Almost a whisper. Oh that’s not me! 

I look at her cheerfully and say a crisp “thank you”. 

She is confused. She attempts to smile back at me. I encourage her with a wider smile this time. And she is able to smile. She tells me to go back to the lounge and wait, while the films come up. 

I walk tall, find a place amidst the anxious people once again. This time I decide to read the paper. They are still talking about the new year! The celebrations and the jubilations! 

I fold the paper neatly and put it down. 

I look out of the window…..there is a dark cloud in the distant sky…..and i stare at it…....wondering if it has a silver lining! 

A Thing of Beauty.....

I was 3rd in the queue and she was 4th. So we sat in the same lounge, waiting for our turns, to be examined by the country’s top oncologist, in the world class hospital. I had seen her stepping into the lounge some 30 minutes back, with a middle aged man and wondered what was she doing here. It’s not usual to see someone like her in the breast-cancer section, so i conveniently presumed she was accompanying an ailing relative, maybe her mom.

I saw my name flash on the giant LCD, asking me to report to room no. 102.  I stepped in and was immediately followed in by her. She sat beside me. I never ever talk to strangers, be it a flight or a rail journey or a tourist spot in some city of the world....but i turned towards her, when finally i had no doubt that she was here for herself. 

I smiled and gently asked her, “So you are here for....”

An eager reply in a little accented English interrupted my query half way through, “Yup, a follow up!”

I mumbled, “A follow up? Err...u mean......u actually had ......”

“Ah yeah, I had a lump....and I got it removed here, a year back,” very casually put by her.

“Ah a lump? Benign? ” I was still a little shy with my questions.

“Oh yes benign!” You could not miss the sweet smile on her face.

“Why did you get it removed then? I mean.....if it was benign....”

“Oh well, you know I actually was treated for lymphoma just prior to that, so a benign lump also needed to go...that’s why!” She unfolded her denim clad legs and relaxed herself, appearing cool as a cucumber, in that high tension room.

“Lymphoma.....you had lymphoma....i mean you are.....too young....”

“Yup, I know, I am too young for all this..” She cut me mid-way and beamed again.

I turned towards her fully......had a good look of her.........and saw a  sweet, overzealous, petite frame of a bubbly  kid,  in a pair of faded denim and a tee to go with it!

“I... err.... i shouldn’t be asking but how old are you???” I muttered to her.

“Oh I am 20 now....” she looked nothing more than 14-15 though.... “and i had lymphoma at 18, just before my boards” another piece of information that took  the casual talk further.

“It must have been tough...”

“Not at all!  It was like, all right!!”  She smiled casually at me!

I grinned foolishly, “oh yeah, i mean yes i know, it’s all about how one takes it.”

The conversation just took off from there. When i replay the whole thing now, i am amazed how in just a few minutes, she knew where i came from, what i did, how my dad had been my guiding force and how i felt at sea, when i was left to do whatever i wanted, after moving to a hostel! How i was able to relate to my students and how i was so excited that college life never really got over for me! How I wanted to pursue literature and actually ended up studying engineering for the rest of my life, and not regretting it one bit!

In those few minutes, I knew she was still doing the sonnets of Shakespeare in the first semester of her Bachelors in English, and not the full plays! I don’t know why and how  i even verified that  she was being taught Keats and we could actually discuss him, sitting amongst 6 other ladies, who were stone- cold, with the fear of the C- word.

I actually did not realise there were others, till I was asked to proceed to the examining table, and she to the other. The intern called out, “Anjali.......and..... Priyanjali....” I turned towards her....was her name actually Priy-anjali.....and she grinned, “I knew it all along...had seen it on the display outside!”

I laughed softly, for no reason probably, but a little surprised, with the coincidence. Was there a little of me in her.....or a little of her, was me? Would this coincidence be able to justify the “connect” that was  there from the time we had met....would this justify how I identified her from the sea of people who sat in that lounge from the moment she had entered.....or did it really matter!

The doctor went through his routine questions. Smiled all along. Encouraging during it all. He enquired about any developments that I might have noticed.

I wondered, had I ever really cared to check......thought of the consistent pain, deep in my heart....thought of the person I had lost to the C-word, some time back........put up a smile, and said, “ No.”

He asked me to see him after a year. The intern was a little confused. She tried to point out that the reports I was carrying were yet to be seen, but was waved off by the doctor. She hurriedly waved a warm good bye to me, within minutes of my being on the table.  

I collected my stuff and came out through the various doors, into the lounge. As I was stuffing the papers back in my bag, I heard a nervous voice behind me.

“Are you through?” a middle aged Bengali gentleman, whispered to me.

I was about to brush him off with a mild “Oh yes” when he added hesitantly, “My daughter was immediately after you. I was wondering...”

I dropped my bag and the papers on the sofa....and turned to him, all charged up!

“Oh she is being examined right now and would be out any minute,” I informed warmly.“Sir, you must be one proud dad because you have a wonderful daughter! She has a long way to go...and she will be an inspirational story, for years to come! God bless her....” I gushed, all excited.

I saw the tears....roll down......

“Parents....!” I thought to myself.

“Sir, I will always pray for her health and happiness!!” I tried to cheer him up but was so overwhelmed.

I wanted to stay....to talk to him......to give him hope.

I wanted to stay...to meet her when she came out...and give her a big hug!

 

I could not do any of it because I was ushered out that moment, by a really concerned (and by now totally confused) someone.

As the car crawls out of the hospital premises, my thoughts go back to her....and guess she will always remain with me. 

The words of Keats - another common factor between us are ringing in my ears,

"A thing of beauty is a joy forever...its loveliness increases....it will never pass into nothingness!!"