Saturday 13 September 2014

Not Many Guys Understand This...


When my brother was professionally well settled in life, and was being touted as the most eligible bachelor around, in our social circles, he received an unexpected mail from my father. I am sure it was not written by him, nor do I have the details of its origin, but one thing I know for sure that it was a very timely piece of advice to a son, from a thoughtful father.

My brother was pleasantly surprised! He forwarded the mail to me and as I read it I had tears in my eyes. I have saved it since. Reproducing it for the benefit of all you guys, and the girls, out there. I am sure it will go a long way in ensuring marital bliss for many. In today's time when both girls and boys are brought up the same way, with equal importance to their all round development, it surely makes sense to remind the "son" one more time. Here are some excerpts:

"Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her keeping in mind these facts as well:

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are, who is earning almost as much as you do.

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have, because she is as human as  you are.

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sisters haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do, for 20-25 years of her life.

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home and people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name.

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep, oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment, and that kitchen.

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, or maybe more.

One who is never ever expected to complain to be a servant, a cook, a mother, or a wife, even if she doesn't want to; 

One who is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than  you.

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities.

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise.

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met; 

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life, a grand success, if you just help her and trust her.

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it. 

But not many guys understand this. 
             
I hope you will."


I hope this small note will affect a few minds at least. That should surely suffice for now because it's said that a small group of thoughtful people could change the world. 

As you were reading this post, you might have correlated it with the situation of your mother/sister/cousin/wife/friend/someone you know, and wished that somehow things could change for them.


Mahatma Gandhi shared a very wise trick for fulfilling that wish of yours - "Be the change that you wish to see in the world."
 







Wednesday 3 September 2014

SitaroN se aage jahaaN aur bhi haiN!



Uss din shayad tumne mujhe pehli baar twitter pe dekha tha. Dekh kar chup chaap nahin baith gaye the tum. BaDii qaamayaab sii koshish kii thi tumne, apne hone ka ehsaas mujhe karwaane kii.  


Maine kuch post kiya tha - kisi nazm ka koi khoobsurat sa she’r raha hoga. Aur tumne uspe ek chhota sa sitaaraa Taank diya tha, favourite per click kar ke. Main nayi nayi thi. Zyada samajh nahin thi yahan ke chaal dhaal ki. Kuchh chaunk kar maine oopar dekha tha, ke ye kaun hai jisne chupke se meri post ke maathe par ye jhilmil karti sitaare waali  bindiya chipka di thi.


Tum jaate jaate ruk gaye the aur ek pal ke liye tumne piichhe muD kar dekha tha. Ussi waqt maine nazrein uthaayeen theen. Tum halke se muskuraaye the. Wo muskuraahaT maine tumhari nazron mein dekhi thi. Kuch toh tha uun aankhon mein. Aaj tak samajh nahin paayi, kya! Jaane tumne kya dekha tha lekin wo lamha waheen khatm nahin hua. Ek silsila bann gaya. Ek ajeeb sa sukoon dene waala silsila, kuchh ajeeb – o – Gareeb sa silsila!


Tum jab bhi aate ek sitaara taank dete the, meri kisi bhi post par. Wo tumhari dastak hoti thi, ke tum aa gaye ho. Jawaab mein main tumhari kisi khoobsurat nazm ke neeche “favourite” click kar deti thi. Taar juD jaate the. Baatein shuru ho jaati theen. Baatein, jahan lafzon ka istemaal nahin hota tha. Bass hamein uss undercurrent ko mehsoos karne ki deri bhar hoti thi, aur nazmein khud-ba-khud padhii jaane lagti theen, afsaane bante chale jaate the.  Wo jo kuch maine kabhi kaha hi nahin, wo sab kuch jaane kaise tum sun lete the. Wo jo tumhaare dil-o-dimaag mein ghoom raha hota tha, wo jaane kaise main ek khuli kitaab ki tarah padh leti thi.


Kitni hairaani ki baat thi na. Aise hi sitaare Taankte Taankte, humne ek chaadar hi bun daali thi, sitaaron ki. Rupahle, sunahre, khoobsurat sitaare! Jab ummeed ka suuraj parvaan chadha, uski roshni mein hamari ye chaadar jhilmila uthii thi! 


Khair suuraj doob gaya, sitaaron ki chamak pheeki pad gayii. Aur phir wo ek ek kar ke toot gaye. Bikhar gaye. Rah gayii toh bass wo sooni si, ujaad, yaadon ki chaadar. 

Ek din dil pe patthar rakh kar usse main dariya mein baha aayi.  Uske saath wo saare ehsaas bhi, jo tumne kabhi mujhe mehsoos karaaye the.


Maine ye tumhari sikhaayi hui sitaaron ki zubaan phir kabhi nahin istemaal ki. Maine kabhi muD kar uun sitaaron ka sog nahin manaaya, jo toot gaye, bikhar gaye. 


Kitna waqt guzar gaya. Suraj roz nikalta raha. Ab roshni mein sirf ek chaadar nahin,  saara jahan chamak uthata hai. Ajeeb si baat hai, uski roshni mein koi tapish nahin hoti hai. Ek garmaahat hoti hai, waisi hi, jo apno ke beech rehne pe mehsoos hoti hai.


Aaj ek anhoni ho gayi. Bemausam ke kale baadal subah subah hi aa kar saara aasmaan gher liye. Bhari dupahri mein raat ka ehsaas hone lagaa. Aur achanak, jaane kahan se aa kar, tum ek sitaara taank gaye!


Maine aankhon ko ragad kar dekha. Haan ye tum hi the. Iss ek sitaare se, yaadon ke dhool bhare galiyaare ke kiwaad pe dastak de gaye tum. Lekin uun darwaazon ko band kar ke kaafi aage nikal aayi hoon ab main. 

Ek halki si muskaan ne aa kar chehre pe Deraa daal liya hai. Aur Iqbal ki nazm achaanak ekdum ruuhani lag rahi hai. Tab se gunguna rahi hoon,


"Gaye din ke tanha thi main anjuman mein…..yahan ab mere raazdaan aur bhi hain….Sitaron se aage jahan aur bhi hain!"

Listen to the audio version of this post: https://soundcloud.com/fursatnaama/sitaron-se-aage-jahaan-aur-bhi