When my brother was professionally well settled in life, and was
being touted as the most eligible bachelor around, in our social circles, he
received an unexpected mail from my father. I am sure it was not written by him,
nor do I have the details of its origin, but one thing I know for sure that it
was a very timely piece of advice to a son, from a thoughtful father.
My brother was pleasantly surprised! He forwarded the mail to me
and as I read it I had tears in my eyes. I have saved it since. Reproducing it
for the benefit of all you guys, and the girls, out there. I am sure it will go
a long way in ensuring marital bliss for many. In today's time when both girls
and boys are brought up the same way, with equal importance to their all round
development, it surely makes sense to remind the "son" one more time.
Here are some excerpts:
"Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her keeping in mind these facts as well:
Here
is a girl, who is as much educated as you are, who is earning almost as much as
you do.
One,
who has dreams and aspirations just as you
have, because she is as human as you
are.
One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sisters haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do, for 20-25 years of her life.
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home and people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name.
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep, oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment, and that kitchen.
One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, or maybe more.
One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sisters haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do, for 20-25 years of her life.
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home and people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name.
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep, oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment, and that kitchen.
One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, or maybe more.
One
who is never ever expected to
complain to be a servant, a cook, a mother, or
a wife, even if she doesn't want to;
One
who is learning just like you are as to
what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you
won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you.
One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities.
Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise.
One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;
One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life, a grand success, if you just help her and trust her.
One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.
But not many guys understand this.
I hope you will."
One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities.
Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise.
One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;
One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life, a grand success, if you just help her and trust her.
One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.
But not many guys understand this.
I hope you will."
I
hope this small note will affect a few minds at least. That should surely
suffice for now because it's said that a small group of thoughtful people could
change the world.
As
you were reading this post, you might have correlated it with the situation of
your mother/sister/cousin/wife/friend/someone you know, and wished that somehow
things could change for them.
Mahatma
Gandhi shared a very wise trick for fulfilling that wish of yours - "Be the change that you wish to
see in the world."
